Law in the Marketplace: Coping with grief as a working professional
Published: 01-07-2024 9:00 AM |
A close friend of my wife and mine recently lost her partner of many years. He died of Alzheimer’s disease at a Concord, New Hampshire hospice facility.
As readers will know, I write this column primarily for New Hampshire business owners but also for non-owners who find it useful. When business owners lose their spouses or partners, they must deal not only with the terrible grief that all bereaved partners and spouses experience, but also with the special bereavement issues that business owners must address, especially if they are the day-to-day managers of businesses they own. But the measures that business owners must take in order to deal with these losses are essentially the same as for non-business owners. With much help from a grievance counselor I know, I’ve listed the 10 main such measures below (but with some editing of my own):
1. They should realize from the start that their grief may last many months and maybe much longer. But they should do all they can to maintain their daily routine during that period.
2. If at all possible, they should get adequate sleep.
3. If it is already a part of their lives, they should meditate or pray.
4. They should share their feelings of bereavement regularly with trusted friends and bereavement counselors. Bereavement counselors can be hard to find, but they can offer invaluable help to their patients.
5. If they can manage it, they should invite their friends to visit them regularly. In any event, they should avoid lengthy periods of solitude.
6. They should get regular physical exercise, and if they don’t get mental exercise in their work, they should seek it by other means — perhaps by doing crossword puzzles or by reading books or short stories that are easy to read.
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7. If they find it helpful, they should write about their feelings of bereavement from time to time or even in daily journalling.
8. They should seek healthy distractions, such as attending movies with their friends or dining out with them at restaurants.
9. They should develop a ritual to honor their lost ones on the day or their loss. The ritual can be something as simple as lighting a candle.
10. Above all, they should realize that if their lost ones are somehow still alive in an afterlife — which, of course, they might be — what their lost ones will want most is that their survivors quickly regain a joyful life.
John Cunningham is a lawyer licensed to practice law in New Hampshire and Massachusetts. He is of counsel to the law firm of McLane Middleton, P.A. Contact him at 856-7172 or lawjmc@comcast.net. His website is llc199a.com. For access to all of his Law in the Marketplace columns, visit concordmonitor.com.